9 thing to do after a Breakup if you want to be friends with your Ex
Typically, after any breakup, you will end your relationship with a tension, or the two of you may move forward as friends after the storm is over. Trust me, you are fortunate if you can have a platonic relationship with your ex after heartbreak.
But sometimes, friendship could be the only thing that’s connecting you to someone you care for, especially your ex. Well, this could be a complicated process, but with a bit of mutual respect and mutual consent, both of you could establish a friendship.
So, are you comfortable with calling your ex, a friend? If yes, then let’s continue. However, if you still don’t feel like you can be friends with your ex, then it’s probably a good idea to let them go. Sometimes it’s better to stay away than to hold on to false hopes that will only hurt you again in the long run.
Now that you have all that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the tips you can use to remain friends with your ex.
Always ensure you have closure
I’m so sorry that your relationship had to end. There’s no better way to say this, but I’m thankful you had the time to look past the pain and hurt. What you need to understand is that friendship between you and your ex can only exist if you had a clean exit.
Even if you were deeply hurt and it was a painful experience, you will have to handle it maturely to ensure that there’s friendship at the end of the tunnel. That means you need to apologize to your ex and vice versa. This way you will only have good memories of each other that will drive you both to friendship.
Forgiveness is the key
If you hold a grudge against your ex, then there’s no way the two of you can be friends. That said, if you’d like to maintain a friendship with your ex, then you will have to give each other a sincere apology for the pain that you’ve caused each other. Forgiveness might take a while, but once the wounds have healed, then both of you will forgive and forget. In the end, it will be possible to build a productive friendship after all.
Give each other space
Space will help, especially if you need to break free on from the emotions of ‘heartbreak’. Additionally, you need to give your ex time to heal and grow. Therefore, don’t contact each other until you are sure both of you have recovered from the breakup. That will give you a chance to see each other as friends in a different light when compared to how you would feel if you were still hurting.
Don’t snub each other
When the two of you see each other, whether by chance or planned, then don’t ignore them. Greeting each other will not hurt you. But that doesn’t mean that you have to act as nothing happened. However, you can be civil about it. That will help make things less awkward between the two of you.
Treat each other like old friends
If you want to avoid those awkward moments together, then start by treating your ex like an old friend. Whenever you meet, greet them cheerfully and energetically. It will feel like you are happy to see an old friend. You can also lighten things up by having small talk or sharing a few jokes. That will typically make your ex relax.
However, it’s going to be uncomfortable, especially in the beginning. But you will develop a new rhythm/vibe as time goes on.
Know the limits
To be sincere, you are no longer a couple anymore. That means you don’t have any right to decide on the actions of your ex. You can only give an opinion or suggestion but nothing more than that. Additionally, you should avoid invading each other’s personal space.
For instance, you should avoid asking personal questions that might be misinterpreted. So, you can chat about causal topics like the weather, politics, or any other subject that’s not personal. More importantly, do not give each other special treatment of any kind. Remember that you are only friends and nothing more, so act like friends.
Privacy will help
There’s no doubt about it! Giving your ex time to develop their own private life that doesn’t revolve around you will finally help them heal. You should remember that a private life is a life that you are not a part of. Let your ex have a life that doesn’t have any connection to your previous relationship or life together. Now that you two are no longer a package they must transition into the new life and grow as a person.
Respect your ex’s new relationship
If your ex has already found a new partner, you must respect their relationship. Now is not the time to be bitter or jealous if you would like to remain friends. Treat the two of them with respect. You should also avoid being overly nice to or calling at odd hours of the day, such as in the middle of the night. Having your ex move on will feel awkward at first, but over time things will smoothen out.
Finally, don’t force the friendship
The friendship between the two of you will only work if both of you are comfortable. Don’t force your ex to be friends with you and do not be friends with them if you are not ready. In case they don’t want to remain, friends, then you must learn to accept, heal, and move on.
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